I need advice... I feel bad for making him wait...?

Hi!


Ok so i usually dont like to talk about such personal things, but I really need som advice.


My boyfriend and I have been together for around 10 months. I am 18 and he is 6 years older. I know he loves me with all his heart and I really love him too. However, I am not ready for an intimate relationship (you know what I mean) with him yet. And it doesn't seem like I will be any time soon. I just dont think that it is what I want in our relationship just now, and in case I got pregnant I know the consequences which I DO NOT and am not ready to go through. So I dont want to put myself at risk.


His point of view - he will wait. But he always mentions that guys arent like girls and cant wait forever, that before he thought even 2 months without any sex was too much. I always tell him to get out of the relationship if hes not capable of waiting. I am young and honestly scared (I dont tell him this though). When I tell him to break up if he doesnt want to wait he tells me that he loves me more than anything and that just the fact i talk about breaking up so seriously scares him. (Im always cool about it, I never attack him, he knows im saying it so that hes aware that he has a choice in case he is unsatisfied with the relationship).


So what are your opinions on this? thank youI need advice... I feel bad for making him wait...?
My opinion is he sounds like a pig. ';Guys aren't the same as girls, they can't wait as long';. Oldest excuse in the book. There is no problem in waiting that his hand can't solve. He should not be pushing you if you aren't ready. Do not let anyone bully you into having sex if you don't want to, and kudos to you for holding up your ethics this long!I need advice... I feel bad for making him wait...?
my opinion is you are doing the right thing.





its not true that guys can't wait, it is possible its just called patience, whats the big rush for you know. you are right to not want to have to deal with consequences.





some people are going tell you why wait and just do it already but as you know giving in isnt always the best thing
you are doing exactly what you should be and it makes me wicked happy to see someone who finally is. yeah guys are hornballs and love sex and will mention that whenever possible. but if youre not ready and hes ok with that then i say your good to go. its really awesome that hes cool with your desicion to wait too :)
You should tell him exactly wat you told millions of starnagers letting him know your scared may help him understand why you dont want to do it just yet. He sounds like he really loves you and he will wait until your ready, but if he cant wait till your ready then he sounds like a pig.
You are doing the right thing. So, stick to your guns. Do not do anything that you are not ready for. If this man truly loves you, and I mean really loves you then he will wait. He can beat that chicken with his hand! Let him move on if he can't stop pressuring you.
Okay, Honey you dont need a guy like that.


He's just wanting you for the sex.


You just need to stop being scared so much about it tell him how you really feel and let him hear you.


Okay?


You're Welcome.





- Jordan Trevon
Play it cool..Keep it quiet. He should soon figure out properly that you ain't ready. He's right..guys can't wait forever. If he stops nagging you or whatever he does you'll realize he respects ur decision in waiting..
He actually seems like a decent guy. If he really loves you so much he will keep waiting, what else can he do? Good job standing up for yourself and your beliefs on the matter of sex! kudos.
your fineee. if he really does love you he will have no problem waiting for you. if he ends up breaking up with you because of this then hes definetly not good enough for you hunny :)
hi girl!!!


well im ana im 16 and i know exactly how you feel =) i dated a guy that was 21 but i didnt have sex with him because i wasnt reeady and again thios year idated a 20 year old and i told them from the get that i am a virgina nd planning to stay that way. So they agree to it however he waited 10 months which is a while!! thts great shows that he really loves you jst make sure that he doeasnt just want to take your virginity but im stilla virgina nd im scared also they say it hurts and i honestly dont like risks such as pregnanacy all my buds are all scare dbc thier guy came inside them heck they might be pregnant but my opnion is to i understand you do it when your ready and jsut let him know that your scared and not ready he will try to convince you with the ';baby i know what to do trust me well be carefull'; but you have to be comfortable just tel; him that your not ready and not comforatble with it, have you tried other alternatives such as oral sex (head) or hand jobs becuase thats not se xbut oral and hand are alternatives because liek it or not the relaioty is that guys need some kind of pleasure so try those ;) talk to him about it you guys are in love so try it tell him 'good luck hun


email me ahytime


anathejournalist@yahoo.com
Coco, you're both smart and mature for recognizing that you're not ready for sex yet. Please read the attached questions/answers:





http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>





http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>





I remember very well what its like to be a 24-year-old guy in his position. I'll be blunt: he is *suffering* like you wouldn't believe. In just five more years that six year age difference won't be significant, but at this time in your life it *is*. I'm skeptical that this relationship can last. In any case, the best of luck to you.
10 months without sex is a long time. If you would rather have your man go have sex with someone else than have sex with him yourself you do not love him. But if you're hoping to get a marriage proposal before you do the deed you need let him know that or hint at it or something. As for getting pregnant there are many contraceptives out there. Use multiple different types and be careful to use them correctly and absolutely every time and you will be fine. So if you really love him stop thinking of ways to turn him down and start thinking of ways to turn him on!
You are doing everything right! But just tell him all your fears about sex. Be really open with him, so that he knows how you are feeling and that you really do love him.
Trust me if he didn't care about you, as soon as you told him that you didn't want to he would be pressuring you like crazy, telling you that if you really loved him you would do it, yeah its true SOME guys can't wait forever and those guys will not stick around no matter how much they say they care, and if hes honestly scared of losing you and would rather wait than to leave you, then he has YOUR best interest at heart. And if hes been waiting for ten months now, then hes willing to wait more. I understand you, i haven't even had that talk with my boyfriend! i know im waiting until IM ready and no way in hell can anyone change my mind if Im not :) So the best thing is trust your instinct, you say your little and your not ready, then your not. Nobody else can tell you otherwise :)





Good luck -Angelica
Well it sucks that you feel bad, but if you're not ready, you're not ready. However, you need to be completely honest and open with this guy, you say you don't tell him some things like how young and scared you feel. You need to share that with him. It may make him understand better why you still want to wait. In any realtionship, the best bet is being completely open and honest with the other person. Don't be afraid of it.





Just keep an open dialogue and don't be so quick to push him away. It almost seems like you expect him to give up at some point and move on. If that's what your waiting for then you seriously need to review your feelings on the situation. He seems like he genuinely cares for you. Give him some credit for that. I'm not saying have sex with him, not until you really are ready, but from the tone of your question, it seems like you still have trust issues. Just a thought.
You're doing the right thing. If you aren't ready then you aren't. End of story. And who knows if this guy has even been waiting...he could be getting what he wants from anywhere else without you knowing. All the same, i truly hope he loves you.


You aren't ready and no one has the right to tell you when to be ready. If he does pressurize you (which he seems not to) then tell him you're scared. He should understand. And if it isn't enough- then you're right to give him the choice.


Don't be forced unwillingly to do anything that you may regret. May be your subconscious is telling you he's not it. May be you don't love him after all. Only you know whats best for you. Good luck!!
GIRL!! Don't you DARE feel bad for making him wait. After all, thats doing it by the book ya know! You are supposed to wait till your married to have sex, now of course we know that rarely happens these days but its good to see at least a few kids are waiting till its right. If he truely respects your wishes he will wait, however, the bad news is that he may cheat on you to satisfy that sick male urge to ';get some';. So be prepared incase he does stoop that low. But in no way should you feel bad about your decision to wait till things are good for YOU to have sex.
I'm going through the exact same thing right now. I'm in my 20's and still a virgin. I'm not waiting for marriage per se ... but i am waiting for the right person and right relationship when I feel like I am ready. The guy that I am currently dating is 15 years older then me and is obviously used to relationships that involve sex. He hasn't pressured me (in the past) but lately he askes almost everytime we are together which is obviously a little pressuring. But then he tells me that he's only asking b/c he loves me and wants to experience that with me.





I'm just not sure yet if he is 'the one'. Not 'the one' for marriage but 'the one' to lose this with. But for him 6 months is a really long time to wait for sex in a relationship.





I'm going to tell you what someone told me. Think about what you want and how you are goin to feel about losing it or not losing it to this guy in the future. Will you regret it 10 years down the road? Is the possibility of breaking up worse then the possibility of regretting losing something that is obviously this important to you? If something did happen and you got pregnant would you be ready for that in your life? Are you going to feel resentful going through with something that you are not ready for yet.





Follow your heart and do whats right for YOU. If he really loves you he will respect that and wait until you are ready. Don't worry about the time frame ... you've waited 18 yrs so far. If it happens now, 6 more months from now, or never with this guy it is your choice. A relationship should be about a lot more then just sex. Virginity is only something you can lose once and once you do you can't get it back.
WOW!! you have to be the smartest person i have met in a long time!! I wish more females and males thought that way. Dont ever let anyone rush you, always remember its your body. When you do decide, PLEASE use protection!! i can stress that enough, but it doesn have to be the guy your seeing now. You know, this is a great test for him and his love for you and if he loves you as much as he says he does, then he will be patient and wait til your ready. The responsibilities are endless with babies and when its conceived by accident, then its even worse and most couples dont even make it through that, and what about the baby??? do you keep him? give him away? or abort? horrible questions to think about, right? So lets not worry about these questions and live your life the way YOU want too, not anyone else.
I wish I had your guts at that age. Honey keep standing up for yours self and your choices it won't get any easier when your older, you just get better at doing it. If want to wait do let anyone push you and let him know that it little snide comments are not appreciated. I have a great deal of respect for you and you will be fine no matter when you decied that your ready.
okay that's nice that he will wait, but you mentioned you don't tell him you are scared. maybe you should so he knows why and where you are coming from. there maybe a part of him thinking its him.





talk about it. tell him your fears. also start the conversation with 'i'm not looking to be swayed i am just letting you know whats going on'





also try and remember that the first time is scary. you may be ready and still nerves. okay so don't think you will be a hundred percent fine the first time and you are waiting for a feeling that will never come. however i am not trying to tell you you should. wait. its the right thing by you. feeling guilty is fine too. but that's not a reason to have sex. when 'this' is concerned, you need to always put yourself first.